Stump Lane
in the dirt since history began

If you like to think about the same things Your Montag attempts to work out in my Series of Unpredictable Length, I highly recommend doing this:

1. Go to the Word for Word Program Archives: The Good Society
2. Click on “listen to program.”
3. Listen.

That is all.

Well, it’s noon somewhere, right? Better a little ‘late’ than a lot ‘never.’ Here is your Carnival of the Liberals #43: Yet Another Poetry Edition (Co-authored by us, Fehlleistungen and Montag. (Thanks for bailing me out, F!))

Here at Stump Lane we have dark gray text on black background. If you prefer black text on white, click ‘stump lite‘ in the right hand column under ‘themes’ and We’ll fix you right up.

It seems that the college system is built
to keep you in debt or to keep you out.

[JiveFood Left writes: Ten Things Wrong With Education]

Who gets the historical love?
Never the deist Paine;
Freedom and equality
today we can not even feign.
(or: rather a fascist reign.)

[MODI at KILL BIGOTRY! ... in Our Society and in Ourselves writes: History's Hit Job on Thomas Paine]

The better angels of our nature
Won’t let us marry our dogs;
But those accursed atheists
Sure can write a-moral blog(s).

[Melissa McEwan at Shakesville writes: Atheists Can Answer; and So I Do]

Victim not to gays
but to insidious ladies?
Vitter’s idea of what makes a man
Could use a good assfucking.

[Jon Swift writes: David Vitter: Another Victim of Gay Marriage]

The president is disingenuous. Or haven’t you noticed?

YOU: “Where’s the rhyme, is this some kind of trick?!”
ME: “No. Go read the post, it’s a limerick!”

[Mad Kane writes: Message: I Share ... Your Goals. (Bush to the Revolting Republicans)]

Secular democracy
Steeped in hypocrisy
Headed for catastrophe
Bush!

[Vjack at Atheist Revolution writes: Redemption for America]

Make like a new Johnny Appleseed:
Plant some trees,
For the future to breathe!

[Phil for Humanity writes: Deforestation and Global Warming]

Immigration and the Great American Idea,
Go together like the continents to form Pangaea.
The problem with bi-lingual-o-phobia,
Is that it ain’t gonna solve anybody’s fucking problems.

[Hell's Handmaiden writes: Tancredo's Goal Post]

Who is the enemy?
Not little old me!
So why do we need all the RFID?

Have more faith in your fellow human—
More cameras: they be loomin.

[Fallingout writes: Target You]

America’s Our’s,
but with problems, let’s face it.
When it’s broke, we must “fix” it,
When it’s not, let’s not break it.

[Daylight Atheism writes: America the Paradox]

That’s ten right? Great work liberals, one and all. Keep up all of the good work. The next Carnival will be at The Richmond Democrat, and you WILL SUBMIT. Early and often. More information at the official Carnival site, too. Many thanks to TNG for all the work he does keeping this thing running.

And remember:

It’s not ‘catcher’ or the ‘rye’ that you put in your bread
it’s ‘rhy’ like the rhyme that I put in your head…

Does anybody know what happened to Neil Shakespeare? [We've paid homage in this space before.] His website is gone, and his blog has been replaced with something in a language that I do not recognize. He hasn’t responded to an email inquiry, which out of respect, I will not repeat.

Have the nature of his work, and the nature of the proposed Intellectual Property Protection Act of 2007 perhaps compelled him to take his work down? If so: a travesty!

I sincerely hope you are ok, Neil. Your bright commentary and the biting satire of your artwork will be missed. Here’s hoping everything is ok, and that [a lucrative publishing contract/top secret government commission] stipulates that your work be exclusively available in their series of [collectible coffee table books/'Winning the Hearts and Minds' propaganda posters.] I’d [pre-order that at my local independent bookstore/like to get my hands on some of those prints!]

As a non Vermonter, my exposure to him had been limited; but as far as I can tell, U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders is bad-ass.

Click to listen to the Martin Luther King, Jr. speech entitled Why I Oppose The War In Vietnam; regrettably describable as ‘timeless,’ though the names and places have changed. –

This is another post co-authored by the dynamic, unstoppable duo of Montag and Fehlleistungen: Fehlleistungen and Montag.

[Welcome, liberals, to the Carnival of the Liberals #26, and our humble blog, Stump Lane, home to dark gray text on black background. If you prefer black text on white, click 'stump lite' in the right hand column under 'themes' and We'll fix you right up. If you are not new to Stump Lane please note there will be no 'Gang Ativity' today with Bazooka Joe. (Click here for past editions if you need a fix.) But for now: let's start a war!]

Fellow citizens, there is a fraud being perpetuated in our country. There are some walking among us clinging to the belief that Christopher Columbus ‘discovered’ America and the national holiday we observe tomorrow still holds meaning as a celebration of the bounty of the harvest and as a commemoration of that first lovely dinner between the ‘Indians’ (who brought the ‘maize’) and the ‘Pilgrims’ (who whipped up the rest of the dinner on their gas range.) That these ideas persist is the work of Thanksgivingists.

The Thanksgivingists hate the truth, and crave only power. They work to undermine free thought and expression in all of its forms. The Thanksgivingists walk among us. They are pervasive. They have infiltrated every segment of society, and even key positions in government. They oppose the reality based community everywhere it conflicts with their objectives.

How does one confront such an enemy? It begins with hope; and Lewd Cognoscenti shows the way. But hope alone isn’t the solution. We cannot sit still and wait for the Thanksgivingist threat to develop to the point where it can completely subjugate the truth.

Top policy and military advisers have developed the plans for victory. Hell’s Handmaiden has detailed plans for toppling the Thanksgivingists leadership at the highest levels. Mad Kane has a brief and poetic executive summary of the same plan. While The Good Human has a contingency plan to mitigate the damage these soon to be deposed leaders have wrought. Of course, as Avant News reports, the Thanksgivingists will deride any plan that is not of their own creation.

Now is the time to put these plans into service. We must act quickly and decisively. The Thanksgiving holiday poses a grave and unique threat, as it marks the beginning of that time of year when the Thanksgivingists’ consumeristic marketing scheme is most pervasive and insatiable.

It is the time of year when the masses become engorged and sleepy on poultry, pie, and 1.5 gallon jugs of Riunite. When they become complacent and acquiescent. Which is precisely why we must strike now.

The assault will begin by making the cranberries of marriage safe for everyone through the shock and awe of Jon Swift’s magnificent can-shaped cranberry sauce logic. Then, once the opposition is softened up, its an easy march to the mashed potatoes and a protracted, but in no way futile search for A Bomb A Nation’s Easter ham of economic justice; and we know where that is. Our best available intelligence tells us it’s hidden inside the turkey of laissez-faire capitalism; and in the area of the squash, turnips, corn and the jello-mold somewhat.

Then, it’s time to count our blessings— thankful that major military operations are over —beneath a spiffy ‘mission accomplished’ banner. VICTORY!

This is the part where our adventure devolves into chaos with no conceivable end.

In all seriousness, chaos is a danger with a liberal movement divided by factions with differing priorities that sometimes find themselves working at cross-purposes. The important things to remember are the universal truths that bind us all together: like Abyss2hope’s admonishment about torture and No Right Turn’s defense of fundamental freedoms. If we hold true to our basic values and avoid unproductive chaos, we may not find years down the road that it has become necessary to divide the warring factions of our own society as The Thomas Political Report concludes has become necessary in real war-torn Iraq.

Well, it’s been an honour (‘u’ and all) and a pleasure hosting Carnival of the Liberals. The selection process was made difficult by the quality of writing and the range of worthy subjects. We thank everyone who submitted material and hope everyone throws in again for the December 6th edition of CotL. THE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. (They grow up so fast, don’t they?) It will be hosted by one of the very forefathers of CotL, TNG at Neural Gourmet who says:

This will be a best-of edition so I’ll be looking for everybody to send in their best blog posts from the past year that haven’t already appeared in, or been submitted to CotL in the past. More about what I’ll be looking for when I post my call for submissions next week.

So visit the carnival home page and watch Neural Gourmet for your instructions.

[As a final note: a shameless plea to add Stump Lane to your blogroll, with a promise of a return of the favor. (Sick of playing 272,593rd fiddle.)]

Carnival of The Liberals #26: The War on Thanksgiving Edition — Call for Submissions

Yes, COTL #26: will be here at The Stump November 22, 2006. After months of my own brilliant posts crashing against the rocks of competition from Liberals Who Can Actually Write, I’ve decided that hosting this thing may be the only option I have left to be a part of it, beyond— you know —reading all the Quality Liberal Writing featured.

As of this writing the COTL website appears to be down perfectly fine. That doesn’t mean you cannot submit. The Blog Carnival form and the COTL email address are also at your disposal. The sooner I receive your submission the better, but please transmit submissions before the deadline of noon EST on Monday, November 20.

[Continue reading for submission guidelines...] (more…)

[BEGIN TRANSMISSION]

Mind if I pimp this other project I’ve found myself drawn to? There is a major deployment going down this Friday. Enlist now.

Kommandos Project

[END TRANSMISSION]

Earlier this week, Your Montag wrote:

TAKE ACTION: House Vote on Iraq War Wednesday or Thursday (3/14/06) –Rep Tom Allen (ME) will introduce an amendment to the Iraq war supplemental funding bill stating that no funds in that measure may be spent to build permanent U.S. bases in Iraq. — He might not be as fancy as Russ Feingold, but this could be very meaningful.

Earlier today Yesterday, Your Montag wrote:

House approves $91.9 bln for wars, Gulf Coast — Where were you, Tom Allen, with your amendment? [More later.]

I inquired about the whereabouts of Congressman Allen and his amendment because it was not mentioned in the Reuters article about the legislation, and because there was no vote listed for an “Allen amendment” in the congressional record. Upon further review, the amendment was in there but it was sponsored by Representative Barbara Lee of California. Tom Allen was among the several who debated in favor of the amendment.

Shorter Tom Allen:
Our sending of mixed signals about our intentions in Iraq helps fuel the insurgency and we should stop.

Those who argued against the establishment of permanent bases made largely the same argument, but Dennis Kucinich busted the sweetest move of them all:

Mr. KUCINICH. Mr. Chairman, in December 2004, I requested the Congressional Research Service to compile a report on military construction in both Iraq and Afghanistan. On April 11, 2005, I received the final report. Here is what it said: the Congressional Research Service found projects that suggest a longer term U.S. presence in Iraq. These included $214 million for the Balad Air Base and $49 million for the Taji military complex.

This is the first congressional report that identified specific locations in Iraq where the U.S. is possibly constructing a permanent military presence in Iraq. At the appropriate time, I will enter this in the RECORD.

Now I want to know, did anyone here vote to establish permanent bases in Iraq when they voted to invade that country? Did anyone here vote to send U.S. troops permanently to Iraq? Weren’t we going to war on the belief Iraq had weapons of mass destruction? Weren’t we going to war on the belief that Iraq was an imminent threat of a mushroom cloud the administration warned about? All that proved to be false. If the President had told you he wanted to spend over $300 billion and 2,300 American lives, plus tens of thousands of maimed service members to build new military bases, permanent deployment of U.S. troops in the Mesopotamian Valley, would anyone here have supported that? I don’t think so.

That is why this administration had to fabricate a pretense for the invasion, and that is why you have to support the Lee amendment today. Do not allow this ill-conceived war to lead to a permanent deployment of troops in Iraq. Bring them home. Close down those bases. [Congressional record p. H1108]

There was only token opposition, and the amendment passed in a voice vote. Of course, that only means— if the Senate passes it —money from this particular bill cannot be used to “enter into a basing rights agreement” with Iraq. Which, it seems to me, means two things:

1. That as long as we don’t “enter into a basing rights agreement” with Iraq, the money could still be used to build infrastructure in Iraq that could one day be used in a permanent military establishment.
2. If we wanted to “enter into a basing rights agreement” with Iraq in the future, then funds from other legislation could be used.

So, like the token opposition, the amendment itself is largely symbolic, but it’s a way to start the discussion on the record. It is an important discussion to have, too. And, wouldn’t it be better to have a good faith discussion about this in the public arena now, rather than wait until the White House propaganda squad decides it’s time to sell the idea of permanent bases to the American people and issues its talking points? Cue the press!

Aaaww, who am I kidding?

Our Flibbertigibbet-In-Chief attended the funeral of Coretta Scott King yesterday, no doubt believing that conservative New Birth Missionary Baptist [super]Church would prove a friendly environment.

It wasn’t quite.

The president gave an eulogy, but also sat by— right behind the podium —in frame with the other speakers who took their turn to honor King and roast Mr. President as he sat uncomfortably by.

Former President Jimmy Carter said of the Kings, “the civil liberties of both husband and wife [were] violated as they became the target of secret government wiretaps;” and, spoke of the racial issues evident in the Katrina catastrophe.

What LA Times described as the “most overtly partisan remarks” of the ceremony were spoken by “King protégé and longtime Bush critic” Reverend Joseph Lowery.

“She deplored the terror inflicted by our smart bombs on missions way afar. . . We know now there were no weapons of mass destruction over there. But Coretta knew, and we knew, that there are weapons of misdirection right down here. Millions without health insurance. Poverty abounds. For war, billions more, but no more for the poor.”

The remarks created a hullabaloo among the raucous crowd who liked what they heard. To Mr. President’s credit, The LA Times accounts that he and his Dad reacted self-deprecatingly. The Younger by applauding and bear-hugging Rev. Lowery and the Older reminiscing about his relations with the Reverend back in the day, “I kept score in the Oval Office desk — Lowery 21, Bush 3 . . . It wasn’t a fair fight.”

Perhaps the gestures were tongue-in-cheek; but it would seem, at least, that OFFAL— aside from the AP reports that he “winced” during Lowery’s speech —seems to have remained loosey-goosey, for the most part, and avoided his usual tomfoolery.

And of course, Coretta Scott King was duly honored:

“And because this young mother and father were not intimidated, millions of children they would never meet are now living in a better more welcoming country.” —George W Bush

Every one of us are in a way the children of Martin Luther and Coretta Scott King.” —Bill Clinton

Associated Press: Bush Praises King for Changing the Country
LA Times: A Eulogy for King, a Scolding for Bush
Vocabulary enhancements thanks to Min Suh at Two Sheets to the Wind.

Here are links to the texts of some of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s writings/speeches that I heard/read parts of over the course of yesterday. The first two most everybody knows about, the last two were less well known (to me at least.) I don’t know what to say about MLK— he was before my time —other than he was one eloquent dude.

• Letter from Birmingham Jail [April 16, 1963]
• I Have A Dream [August 28, 1963]
• Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break Silence [April 4, 1967]
• I’ve Been to the Mountaintop [April 3, 1968]

Democracy Now!— as would be expected —did a nice tribute yesterday and played some excerpts of his speaking.

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

—John Lennon (October 9, 1940 – December 8, 1980)