Stump Lane
in the dirt since history began

LAST NIGHT, HOLY FUCK you should have heard the thunderstorm we had. It was 2 am or so and thunder woke me up, but it not your standard thunder. Long thunder. Continuous thunder that lasted several minutes at a time. It was as if maybe lightning was streaking horizontally across the sky for miles. It was unnerving. Something new and strange and unsettling and dread-inducing was happening. (I’m getting too old for this shit.)

We did see some flashes that would light up the sky for a second or two, and there seemed to be corresponding crackles of thunder louder than the low-flying-airplane-drone of the continuous thunder. For a few minutes I entertained the idea that what we were hearing was a full attack of Russian ICBM’s streaking across the sky: an old fear (and wish) left over from my youth.

This went on for probably 30 minutes with only a couple of moments when the continuous rumble seemed to fade out before starting again. So incredibly weird. At one point Ms. Montag looked out the window just as a flash of lightning lit up the sky. She said it looked as though the lightning was streaking directly at the house. The 1850 farmhouse with fourteen fucking lightning rods on the roof.

I fretted about that for a few minutes when it seemed like the storm was getting closer. Modern houses don’t have lightning rods because the past has taught us it isn’t a good idea to attract white hot lightning toward inhabited wooden structures. Sure the rods add character, but it may be time to take them down and recycle the copper. Help me sleep better on stormy nights like these.

Even direct democracy proves unjust. Shame on Maine!

Maine News Updates: [Police] said they were monitoring him electronically as he made a trip out of state and back… — Wonder if we’ll find out how as the story develops. Easy Pass? On Star? Lo Jack? Cell phone tracking? Following his Twitter updates? Did they attach a homing beacon to his car? —

My latest work at Agitprop: Whoever Did This Must Really Hate Coffee — another case of sexually repressed, paternalistic reactionaries using violence to further politico-moralistic objectives. Presumably. –

7 escape injury as topless coffee shop burns — Fire marshals are still investigating the cause, but how much you want to bet the pro-lifers had something to do with it? —

The Maine bill authorizes marriage between any two people…

Despite my status as really uncommitted anarchist, I reckon this is a good thing. I’m a big fan of the radical gay agenda. I’m a big fan of anything, really, that gets reactionary types riled up about “social propriety” and ‘licentious nihilists’:

…gay nihilists browbeat traditionalists into submission: Radical leftists know that their agenda violates the deepest sense of social propriety, and so they must portray traditionalists as bigots and religious “extremists” to make the sale for their own licentiousness. [D.D.]

With a goal as lofty as radical social revolution, the destruction of the institution of marriage would seem like a worthy first step. Though I’m not sure extending that institution’s reach is exactly the best way to go about it, I’ll trust the nihilist’s judgment on this one.

In the meantime, if gay folks can get themselves added to their same-sex spouses’ health insurance at work, or have input in their health decisions at the hospital without getting hassled by the in-laws, or keep their communal property when their spouse dies, then I reckon it’s a good thing.

Undoubtedly the collection of the 55K signatures needed to get a “people’s veto” initiative on the ballot come November is already under way. Though I doubt Maine voters would overturn the law, a truly radical gay nihilist movement would borrow a page from the Democrat playbook and challenge the signatures. Anything less would be anticlimactic.

[Portland Press Herald: Baldacci signs same-sex marriage into law]

Here’s what [Maine Governor] Baldacci said:

“We must continue forward with the reform of K-12 administration. We cannot allow Maine to be dragged backwards by a referendum [that would repeal recent school consolidation laws] that seeks a return to the expensive past. The way forward — the way to protect local schools and resources for the classroom — is to stop wasting money on unnecessary bureaucracies and administrations.”

[Kennebec Journal: On Maine Politics: Baldacci blasts school consolidation repeal]

YES REFORM K-12 administration. Stop wasting money on unnecessary bureaucracies and administrations. Consolidate school districts so that they can share administrative costs. But, how should a state go about doing such a thing? Who sits in the best position to make the difficult decisions in how to eliminate redundant administrative personnel, slash administrative budgets and weed out bureaucratic administrative inefficiencies? Who among us has the wherewithal to wield the hatchet and the scalpel?

School administrators. Superintendents and Principals. They surely know best which of their own will make the ultimate sacrifice. They, who reside high above the selfish antics of organizational politics, they alone, possess the fortitude and courage to slash their own budgets, to demote and fire themselves.

Wait, what? Is that in any way like fixing the economy by handing out billions of dollars no strings attached that can then be paid out in bonuses to the thieves and imbeciles who wrought the economic disaster in the first place?

What I am getting at is this: As budgets tighten in sparse economic times, and bureaucratic and administrative inefficiencies don’t magically economize themselves under School Administrative Reorganization (consolidation) laws, Art and Music teachers better hang on to your hats!

Bee hives? Not in your backyard — Flores dropped leaflets throughout the neighborhood, and this week went before town councilors to ask for beekeeping regulations. — Fuckin’ buzzkill. –

Off-duty policemens know how to party!! This one was tasered, …handcuffed, hog-tied with duct tape, oiled and feathered, and paraded through downtown Camden strapped to a lawn chair on the back of a flatbed truck… for his bachelor party! — Video of Knox County deputy’s bachelor party shows tasing, hazing –

WHAT’S the latest craze that’ll have the rogues and ruffians buzzing all season?

Grabbing your credit/debit card information “in transit.”

They just snatch that shit during the card verification process while you’re making a purchase at the grocery store:

Hannaford said 4.2 million debit- and credit-card numbers were exposed between Dec. 7 and March 10. There was a report of fraudulent activity on 1,800 unique cards as of Monday, but a running tally of all fraud associated with the case is not being kept…
[Portland Press Herald: Data stolen from Hannaford during transit]

Apparently it was a real “no one could have anticipated the breaching of the levees” moment:

In [a grocery store point-of-service] transaction … the card information does not have to be encrypted because it is in a private network. But it is supposed to be transmitted over an encrypted line.

If I read that right, the information was compromised after the swiping of a card but before transmission. OMG! THE HACKING IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE STORE.

Your Montag is no security expert, but it seems to me that an organization that gives prospective employees a personality test to determine what they would do if a friend or co-worker stole ten dollars from the till, might have had stricter safeguards in place for credit card data.

The nature of this mug shot will make sense in a minute…

THIS GUY made an illegal U-turn, taunted a police officer by revving up his engine and led police on a high speed chase through four sleepy Maine towns last night. Three local police departments and the state police were involved, two cruisers were damaged but eventually they laid down the spike strips and flattened all four tires on the man’s Dodge Neon and he ended up in a snowbank. When he could drive no more, he gave up without a fight.

Guy told the police he’d been driving around for 20 minutes looking for a cop to chase him.

So yeah, kinda dumb, but that mug shot is so punk rock.